I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
