Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
there was a trapeze. enough said
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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