from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I have fence marks all over my body
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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