let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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