we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
