It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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