fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize