you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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