i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The uberlube is also flammable
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
