ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
