Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
