I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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