i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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