this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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