He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
