I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
