and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
