I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
