mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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