so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
