I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
