Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
