dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
