Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
