Kiss
Puke
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
