They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
