Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
