I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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