Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
