so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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