You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize