Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
