Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
