if i can run in heels then i can drive
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
