I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Quick, to the slutcave!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
