so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Randomize
