Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Who died my cat blue again?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
