he told me I talked like a deaf person
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There's always time for handjobs
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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