i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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