it hurts more in the daytime
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
