Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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