my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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