I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
