I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
