i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
