Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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