one two three fourrrrnication!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
