If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
