I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Mom said you looked used
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
