im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
my shit smells like andre
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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