Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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