i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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