Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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