I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
