I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
