I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
