Cold hands, warm shart.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize