I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
