I want to have your abortion
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
