I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
