I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
