I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
