Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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