my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
