is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
