there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
