Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
