I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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