pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
