Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
