White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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