i can't believe i had my finger in that
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
