it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
