In the future we'll all be gay
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
