He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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