I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
