She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
