farters have to be the big spoon...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
