Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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